Happy Endings?

Is there such a thing as a Happy Ending?

We are brought up watching Disney movies where it all ends Happily Ever After. When we are young, we dream big, aim high and plan far. We think of a point in the future where everything will be perfect. The truth is different. There is no such thing as a Happy Ending. The whole concept is a bag full of bull shit. We are brought up on a lie. Our childhood is full of lies. I might sound like a pessimist and this thought might be depressing but look back in your life. Look how far you have come and what difference did it make? 18-20 years of your life passed by in a flash; a few more decades will pass by quickly too. Then you will grow old and die. You are born, you struggle, study, go to college, get a job, get married, raise kids and then die. For some, this process may even end abruptly, and when it does, the lives of those around that person is affected in such a negatively heavy way that they soon realize it too that THERE IS NO HAPPY ENDING.

The sooner you realize this truth, the better it is for you. Because once you realize this, you will stop chasing the clouds trying to catch them. You will stop wasting your energy on a vain activity. But then this raises another question. If there is no Happy Ending, then what should we do with our lives? What should we chase after?

The answer is pretty simple. Live for others. It does not matter what kind of a Happy Ending you will have. What matters is how have you made a Happy Ending for someone else.

That Fragile Glass Cup...

A glass. A cup of thin glass. A fragile cup of thin glass. Fill it with boiling oil. How much will it take? Will it hold it? Or will it shatter into a thousand pieces? If it will hold then for how long will it hold? How long before it shatters? How much can this fragile glass cup take? It is just a matter of time before the heat from the oil becomes unbearable and shakes the glass down to its molecular level. And when it breaks, the small pieces will become dozens of small knives. Small knives so sharp that it will slice through skin and bone alike. But if the glass were alive and had a soul, will it be able to stop itself from breaking? Can it try to stay so strong that the heat doesn't affect it? The unbearable heat from the oil. Don't fill it further. It is enough. It is not strong enough. It cannot take it anymore. Show some mercy. It is a glass meant to hold only water. A gentle glass meant to sparkle under the light of the mighty chandeliers on a silk runner of an oak table. The glass is not meant to take the atrocities of the boiling oil. Not anymore. It cannot hold it in any longer. You filled it to the brim without mercy and keep filling it fresh hot oil.

Tolerance

You may have heard the word "Tolerance" a lot these days. Yet you fail to realize how crucial it is for the betterment of humanity as a whole. You use this word in the wrong sense. You tolerate the genocide of innocent people but you do not tolerate the beliefs of those people. You tolerate the silence and inefficiency of the authorities (like the government) but you fail to tolerate the protests and vigils of those affected. This reminds of the pre-Islamic Arabia when tolerance was used in the same way as today. Young girls were buried alive, tribes and clans brutality killed each other, power struggle was always bloody, etc. Don't you see the same today? My belief is better than yours or I am right and you are wrong or you deserve to die or it is my duty to clean this religion or you did not help us so how can we help you or this happens to everyone so get over it or you are not the only one or I rather not get involved in this. SO MANY COMMENTS, OPINIONS, SUGGESTIONS, EXCUSES! All bull-shit (do not mind my french, tolerate this now).

You fail to realize that how will the whole society become tolerant if you yourself are not tolerant at heart? How will. every accept other no matter what the differences if you yourself think you are superior than other? Did God personally come down and whisper in your ear that you are better than others? Did he personally tell you that you are superior? NO. Then why do you think your beliefs are better than others or your skin color is superior to others? God wants you to be humble and mind your own fucking business (tolerate my french once again). You have no authority to decide the fate of other people. You have no right to decide who lives and who dies. You have no right to take on the responsibility of racial, ethnic or sectarian cleansing. WHO ARE YOU? God's chosen people? AGAIN BULL-SHIT! Putting your head down on the ground five times a day and then going out calling other people non-believers does not make you a good person in the sight of God. It only makes you an idiot. You make a fool of yourself and your religion with your idiotic actions and words.

Did your Prophet (PBUH) teach you to kill anyone who disagrees with you? NO. Did your Prophet (PBUH) order you to stay silent when innocent people are killed? NO. Did your Prophet (PBUH) teach you to be intolerant? NO. NO. NO. He lived in Madinah with people from all kinds of backgrounds. His friends were from different ethnicity. His people were given protection by a Christian. So many examples where one system of beliefs helped another system of beliefs even though they disagreed. SHAME ON YOU ALL!

Our textbooks in elementary, middle and high school teaches kids about the wars of 1965 and 1971. They teach us about Jihad. They mention the basic beliefs of Islam. BUT SELDOM DO THEY TALK ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF TOLERANCE AND DIVERSITY. The textbooks should focus more on stories where tolerance is the main theme than stories where one human being kills another human being. Besides that, teach your own kids that calling another human being a non-Muslim and then shunning him or her is not an authority given to them by God. Punish your kids if they do not follow the code of tolerance. You can punish them for not doing their homework or not listening to you but you cannot punish them when they think ill of a different sect or religion or ethnicity? Shame on you. You are no one to judge the fate of another human being. You are no one to publicly criticize the beliefs of another sect. Have peaceful dialogues and discussions among yourselves but do not focus on the difference but on the similarities. Pay attention towards learning more about each other than trying to prove the other person wrong. A debate that has not been resolved for past 1400 years will not be resolved even now so why even bother looking for a resolution? Share knowledge but do not ENFORCE your beliefs.

Be tolerant of other people's emotions, beliefs and faith. DO NOT TOLERATE MURDER AND GENOCIDE OR ANY CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY. Killing of anyone without a proper trial where his or her crime is proven is never justified.

And teach others about tolerance.

Sacrifice

Dear Humans of the World,

Sacrifice is an interesting concept. It is astonishing to see how mothers would sacrifice for their children or how lovers would sacrifice for each other. I believe that all our sacrifices should be for humanity. We should learn to be less selfish and more focused towards advancing humanity as a whole towards betterment. If you sacrifice your desires to steal, then your are not snatching the rights of someone else. If you sacrifice the urge to waste money on sex, drugs and alcohol, then these elements that degenerate a society will slowly diminish resulting in a healthier society. If you sacrifice your habit of playing with the emotions of someone else, then you will not make anyone depressed or ruin someone's life. Sometimes you have to sacrifice a lot of things for the betterment of humanity. My father sacrificed his life for the security of his people. My family sacrificed their dreams and hopes for the betterment of those same people. Imam Hussain AS sacrificed himself to protect the religion. Soldiers sacrifice everything every day for the safety of their country.

Dear people, learn to sacrifice and take humanity to a higher level of discipline and happiness.

Freedom of Choice?

Every human is free. Every human being has a freedom of choice. They have the right to make their own decisions concerning themselves. But with this freedom comes a great responsibility. Your decisions never affect you only as every human life is connected to another and the spider web of humanity is established. What you do may influence your society or some child a continent away. Therefore, think before you act. Ponder before you make your decisions or choose your words to express something. You may be an advocate of individualism, or you may talk a lot about "freedom of choice" but remember, nature has given you reason as well. Nature has given you the ability to ponder. More than anything, nature has given you will power. Freedom, reasoning and will power were given to you for a certain reason. Combine them all together when you live your life. Do not just live your life on the idea of freedom alone nor just live a life based on your logical reasoning. Combine all these together. You may say I am free to do or say whatever I want, but without reason you will not realise that your words may hurt someone else or start a dangerous domino effect in society. And without willpower you will not be able to control your tongue and keep your harmful words to yourself. Freedom, reasoning and willpower are nature's gift to humanity but humanity must utilise all three of these elements simultaneously while acting. If you give up on even a single of these three elements, then you will act out of pure selfishness. For example, if you choose to do drugs out of your freedom of choice without utilising your reasoning and willpower, then you will not only harm yourself but also the people surrounding you. If you choose to be a rebel against your parents or your society, then once again, depending on your reason to be rebellious, you may hurt the emotions of your parents who brought you up or you may result in becoming a part of the degeneration of your society. Here, you should use your willpower to control yourself and back off. Being rebellious my be useful if your reasoning tells you that it is necessary for the evolution and betterment of society and in that case use your willpower to stand steadfast and fight on.

Therefore, dear humanity, use your freedom, your reasoning and your willpower all together at the same time before acting.

And it begins...

Dear all,

Life has put me in a lot of stuff. Yet I do not blame life. I do not blame my fate or destiny. I blame the people. I blame the silence of these people. I blame the society. A lot has changed for me. A lot has changed for the remaining members of my family. A lot has changed for thousands of families. Our only crime, our beliefs.

From now on, besides the usual blogging, I will address the people of this world regarding certain issues and dilemmas. If you agree with what I write, go ahead and share it. But if you do not agree with what I write, then go ahead and stop reading.

Thank you.

YOU vs. Physics

Physics of the 21st Century will try to persuade you that YOU are not special, that YOU were a product of some chance, that YOU are insignificant compared to the vastness of the universe, that YOU were part of some star-dust and will die to nothingness. Well, in that case, YOU should reply, "F*** YOU PHYSICS!"

No matter what the science or media or latest advancements tell you, remember that your universe is created by your own mind and thoughts. Your universe consists of your perspectives. Do not let any external medium affect your universe. Do not let some guy with a big head and messed up grey hair make you believe that you are not special. You are special and beautiful in your own way. Your thoughts and beliefs and opinions and perspectives combine together to form a unique YOU. Everything unique is beautiful. It is the whole idea of uniqueness that makes this whole world beautiful. YOU are special and only YOU can convince yourself to believe that. SO GET TO WORK!

I Travel on...

I travel on. I don’t know where I am going. I have been travelling for a long time in search of something. I don’t know what that “something” is, yet I travel on. Ever since 2008, when I left my home for a year abroad, I have never settled back down. I have changed many houses yet my home remains the same and I haven’t spent that long in my home. I wish I could be home. But I also wish to keep travelling on. Towards the unknown. Toward the unseen. He, my mentor, once traveled too. He saw the world. Experienced the universe. And then he returned home. Was he also travelling towards a place unknown? Was he also unsure and uncertain? Was he also searching for something he did not know? He must be standing up there, looking at me and smiling. Are you proud of me? That is the only question I want an answer to. 

A Fictional Tale of a Mad Man!

Here he is. Fluctuating between God and wine.
What has he become? What monster has he become? He needs peace of mind. He can't find it anywhere. Oh where should he go? To what should he turn? Wine or religion? Has he become so low that he has lost it? He was always sure of himself. Always. Yet now he stands nowhere. Yet now he is lost. Has he stooped so below the ground that he has become materialistic? This materialism isn't giving him what he needs. He needs peace. He needs solace. He needs satisfaction. This madness. Oh this madness!

(This is a fictional piece of writing with no connection to anyone I know.)

The waves...of thoughts and sanity

So many days have gone by in a flash. I have met new people, I miss the old ones. I have experienced new things, yet I miss my old life. People talk about living in the present; others talk about looking towards the future. Yet...I keep looking towards the past. The beautiful past. The wonderful past. And the people in there. People tell me to learn from the past and move on, but how should I tell them that I learnt from my past when it was present and I cherish those lessons. But of all the things from the past, I miss one person. My mentor. His picture still sits on my desk and we converse in my dreams. His lessons still circulate in my mind and his voice still echoes in the corners of my brain. His voice. I wish I could hear that again. His smile, I wish I could see that again. My past is my sanctuary yet sometimes it haunts me too, not necessarily in a negative way but in a more complicated manner. Time has gone by, new time has come forth, yet I don't know where it is taking me. The uncertainties of life I would call it. Uncertainties are interesting. They keep you tense, they keep you suprised with their mysteries and complexities. They keep you buckled up in your seats, jostling you left and then right and then forward and then backward. It spins your head and gives you a rush no drug can induce. Uncertainties of life, just like in the dreams. The dreams are the same. They are unpredictable, mysterious and paranormal. Then what is reality? If the uncertainties of life and dreams are so similiar, then which do we consider as reality? Am I alive in the dreams or am I alive when I wake up? Or are they both unreal? Or...are they both real?

Tic Toc...A Fictional Tale

Tic toc tic toc. Shut up oh you clock. Slow down time. Too fast. Too fucking fast. It was just yesterday that I said goodbye to my family with tears in my eyes. And two months have already passed. Tic toc tic toc tic toc. I hate that sound. That sound of the needle completing its revolution in that clock. Slow the fuck down. Just yesterday I had started college and two months have passed and several tests have gone by and too many assignments have been submitted. Yet more are coming my way. More tests, more assignments, more work, less sleep. I need to finish this chapter. Two tests tomorrow, another one day after that, two assignments due. Tic toc tic toc. It's late. Way past midnight. So many chapters still left. Slow down slow down. I need to stay awake. Go away sleep. GO AWAY. My mind is a jumble of random thoughts. I need to smoke, I need drugs, I need alcohol but I resort to a hot cup of coffee. Coffee is my drug, coffee is my alcohol, coffee is my cigarette. More coffee, more more more. THOU SHALT NOT SLEEP. I wish the servants were here to serve me coffee in my room. That would have saved me precious 5 minutes. I wish my family was around. They could read my mind and help me without any verbal communication. Tic toc tic toc. Get back to the chapter. Mind going astray. CONCENTRATE OZZY! 30 more pages to go. Then notes, then past paper, then questions. Time is running, the sun is rising. Oh I need sleep. Maybe just 10 minutes of sleep. I need it. Put my head down for ten minutes. tic toc tic toc. WAKE UP. Study more. I don't understand this shit. FUCK. Fuck it, I am going to sleep. Goodnight world. Test in three hours, sleep for two hours this night. Just like the last night. And the night before. And the week before. And the month before. And life goes on...

Who is to be blamed?

As I sit in a foreign country and see Pakistan from a third-person's perspective, I ask myself: who is to be blamed? Who is to be blamed for the deterioration of my country? Who should be blamed for the destruction of my land? Who is guilty of the crime of ruining the glory of my home country?  The elite? No. The elite cannot be blamed. The elite will always exploit everything and everyone around them. They will squeeze every atom of every available resource around them for their own advantage. They cannot be blamed for anything as whatever they are doing is in accordance with their basic nature.  The poor? No. They are too helpless and too hopeless even though they are in majority. They are weak and incapable. They cannot be blamed as they are the ones suffering from majority of oppressions and persecutions. They are the ones most affected. It is not their fault. Then? Who should we blame? The whole blame lies on the shoulders of the middle-class society. They are the ones who decide to seal their mouths, blindfold their eyes and shut their ears. See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil?? Bullshit. They are guilty. They have the required resources which poor class do not have. They are capable of the sense of responsibility which the elite do not have. Yet they decide to do nothing. They can read and write and speak and fight, yet they decide to sit at home and do nothing. They pretend to have the helplessness and hopelessness of the poor class and the apathy and immorality of the elite. They pretend and they remain silent. Shame on them. They are guilty.

Random Realization no. 3: Life experiences

I have found that life experiences are the best of teachers and build a person gene by gene. Every person is as unique as his/her life. It's their life stories that shape their character and personality. The more hardships one has faced in life, the stronger he will turn out to be. Your environment, incidences and accidents around you, friends, family, colleagues and everything else determine who you will become.

The secret to success is to have a life full of failures and obstacles and difficulties and pain and suffering. Once you have gone through such a life, you will only emerge as a stronger person with the skills, qualities and personality to succeed in any field in life. Every trouble is a teacher. You will be far better than the person who succeeded purely based on his luck or family background. So go out, and build a life-story, then that life-story will build YOU.

Just recently I have met some of the most amazing people in my life. They may have seemed weird at first but their life-stories gave me goosebumps. I learned so much from them and I have come to admire them. Life stories inspire me now. Besides building your own life story, go out and hear other people's stories. Those stories will have a thousand hidden lessons and tips and will be a source of inspiration for you. Moreover, their stories will tell you the magnificence of human strength and teach you that everyone is unique. Every life story is awesome. Every life is beautiful. Every human is marvelous.

Random Realization no. 2: Don't judge

I have always judged people at first sight. Often times, I even judged people without even meeting them.  People you meet may be weird or awkward at first. But you should never judge them. You don't know who they are or what they are. You are not aware of what they hide in their heart or mind. You have not heard their life story yet. And you will never know where they will stand in the future. So, why bother forming an opinion about someone immediately in the first encounter?  I have met a lot of people who I judged and labelled immediately. But once I got to know them and once I heard their life story, I was highly inspired. My respect for them increased ten-folds. Their life motivated me, their story encouraged me. I saw them in a completely different light and I fell in love with them. Every individual and his/her personality is beautiful in a unique way.
 
Now, I will never judge people again till I have learned more about them.

...

Random Realization no. 1: Parents

Past few months have brought about a series of random realizations that are too obvious yet mostly ignored. 

Parents are an extremely crucial part of our lives. They raise us, feed us, cloth us, love us, protect us, rebuke us, restrict us, and leave us all alone when they pass away. Yes, one day they will leave us. So do not waste this time and value them. They are precious! I have always loved my parents and grandparents but I just realized that I never loved them enough. I need to love them more. And now I do. When majority of my friends and colleagues left me all alone, my family stood by me. Society forsook me, my family embraced me. People forgot me, family celebrated me. When every selfish soul went away on their own path while leaving me on the roadside, my family held me and walked me to safety. Friends were always busy but my family always had time. If I give them time, they will always give me time as well.

Our parents bring us into this world and focus their attention towards us. They strive to give us a better future and sacrifice to give us comfort. Sometimes they fail to do some of that, but then it's not their fault. As humans, they were not strong enough. We should not blame them or fight them for their failure. Instead we should stand by them and face that failure together. They would do the same for your failure as well. Love them. I repeat, love them! 

The modern society persuades us to be independent and selfish. The problem is that our parents will suffer the most as a consequence. Were they selfish when you were just a small baby crying day and night? No. Then why should you be selfish when they are old and cranky? Our life should revolve around them just like their life revolved around us when we were infants and toddlers. You can have all the independence you want once these parents have passed away. Then you will miss them. You will regret not giving them enough time. You will despise yourself for fighting them. You will abhor your being for arguing with them. You will consider yourself a monster for not respecting them.

Go ahead, and give time to your family, specially your parents. You are very lucky if you have them. Some unfortunate souls lose their parents very early in life, so be grateful that you are not one of them. Friends social, novels, Facebook, games can wait, but your parents have a limited life. Learn from them but also teach them just like they taught you. Protect and comfort them. Hug them and tell them you love them. Kiss them and tell them they are precious. Do it now, before it's too late.

...

Education in Pakistan? Ha Ha Ha

I am writing against the unfair education system of Pakistan. I am opposing the whole foundation that is forming the future of Pakistan and this world.
Starting from the private education institutions to public schools and colleges, everything is adding to the potential failure of Pakistan as a nation and as a state.

You call it Education? I call it ignorance.

Pakistan is on the verge of self-destruction. I do not blame corruption nor do I blame extremism. I just blame our education system. There are many flaws in Pakistan's education system which are slowly corroding the pillars of this country and eating through the foundation of Pakistan like termites. 

Matric or Cambridge? 
Why is there a dual system in this country in the first place? Have you ever wondered it's consequences? First of all, this system is creating a huge class difference in our society. The rich study in the Cambridge system because they can afford it and because their idiotic children can give as many re-takes as possible while the poor study in the Matriculation system because it is affordable and will land them in an average public college, university or a government job. The rich get into better universities while the poor get an extremely hard time trying to fit into the academic scenario of Pakistan. The rich kids usually land themselves into a good paying job and hence their children also get to study in expensive Cambridge system. While the others who had a not-so-high-quality education have to struggle a lot to get a job that would feed their family; their off-springs are also forced to become a part of the same cycle of public schools and average universities. A class division inevitably forms. The rich get richer. The poor keep on struggling. 

School or business?
Education is the right of every individual and education should not become a business. Alas, in Pakistan it has become a very thriving business. Parents are concerned about their child's future and thus opt for private schools. Just go and check how many students study in a single private school and how high is the fee of every child. The owners of the popular school chains of Pakistan drive Mercedes and BMW while my parents were forced to sell their cars to pay for my education. I am not the only one. I have seen my friends and their parents struggle to keep up with the monetary demands of the schools. After that, do not forget the high Cambridge Exam Registration fee. Every year in the month of January, parents from all over Pakistan have to empty their pockets and register their child for these exams. On the other hand, these parents also have to spend a fortune on books and school supplies. Our public school textbooks are too outdated and our private school books are too expensive. Public schools don't have quality. Private schools only produce stuck-up, character-less individuals with no desire to give back to the society. Why does a school asks it's students to buy new books every year when the school itself could provide those books through it's system of a library? Oh, I forgot, because these school have contracts with publishers. Another money-making technique. Have these businessmen stooped so low as to exploit the citizens of Pakistan even through education? And then we wonder why Pakistan is not moving forward! We blame corruption, we curse our leadership, but we never come out on streets for atrocities of this type.

Tuitions, Tutions, Tutions
In my high school experience, I have always avoided tuitions. Even though I often needed them, I still had to stop myself because of the extra financial burden it would put on my parents' shoulders. However, one can stop and observe how the system of schools and system of tuition centers work together with fluidity. In schools, the teachers pay less attention to every student and as a result the student has to join a tuition centre. A teacher earns money not only from the institution but also from tuitions. Moreover, I have seldom heard about a school which has put a restriction on it's teachers giving tuitions. These same teachers will often blackmail the school staff and even join other institutions of  their demands are not met. Seeing this whole scenario, I detest the profession of a teacher. They are also on the road to exploit every poor soul hungry for knowledge. Knowledge is supposed to be free or at least affordable. If an institution is charging a huge sum of money, then they must also make sure that none of their students should even feel the need for tuitions. Even if some students need help, then the institution should arrange extra classes free of cost--every opportunity should not be used to make more money!

A Personal Experience
My parents have always supported me in my educational endeavors. However, I have always felt guilty for asking too much. They sent me to another city to study and that move proved beneficial. But my family had to struggle every day of every month just so that I could get good education as they didn't want to see me "wasted." I got into Oxford, but could not go due to financial restrictions. At that moment, my school gave me hope and told me they will make sure that I go by finding me sponsors. They advertised me. They sold me on billboards. And they got a huge load of new admissions. But when the time came for actually helping me, they just vanished. They said they cannot do anything and I must forget about Oxford and move on. It felt as if my 17 year old girlfriend dumped me for a 31 year old guy. My hatred for the education system of Pakistan increased ten folds. Next year someone else got into Oxbridge and the cycle continued. These institutions only look good on pamphlets, advertisements and billboards, but one must actually go through the whole system to realize how flawed everything is. A school will advertise about how many students got As in their Cambridge result, but they fail to tell that those As are just one percent of the total student body. These advertisements do not mention the 70% students who either fail or get bad grades and have to give re-takes. 

Moral of the Story?
Now we come to the fun part: we idiots are all to blame. It is our fault that things have gotten out of control because we all succumbed to the deep pit of this system. We acted dumb and we whined but we did not do anything about it. I did my part by writing about and having countless fights with all the institutions that I attended. What part will you play? Will you let these leeches suck out more money or will you actually say NO for once. Education is supposed to be a birth-right of every individual but now people have transformed it into an expensive commodity. And then we wonder why our Pakistan society is declining? Private schools suck your money like thirsty leeches. Teachers and administration exploit our need for knowledge but do not give us the right kind of knowledge. They just give us facts but do not train us for independent thinking. On the other hand, the public school system is just another shame we have to stick with. 

Signing off,
Syed Shehroz Hussain

Sheeshaholic

I be so K3wL because I be smoking Sheesha at the elite cafe of Islamabad.

Sheesha came and brought with it the much awaited revolution. You do not need to attend any Jalsa for that, just smoke sheesha. Cough Cough.

I have had the opportunity to spend time in all the major cities of Pakistan. One thing that was common everywhere were Sheesha lounges filled with teenagers. They sit and chat and smoke their way into the night. That is so cool! NOT. Every teenager spends around 200 to 500 rupees during a single Sheesha session. Have you ever wondered how many people can be fed with the same amount of money? Ah well, how would you know because you have never really peeked out your window and witnessed a person carrying heavy bricks on his shoulders for a hundred rupees to feed his family of eight. Trust me and try thinking about how much money you waste on such useless activities. Trust me further and try giving a 100 rupee note to a random beggar and see how you feel. You will feel better than what you feel while smoking Sheesha. It's the expressions of surprise when they see the note which gives me a head-rush. This act of giving often intoxicates and eventually becomes addictive. Believe me, this addiction is way better than ANY other addiction you know about. 

I will not talk about the health issues associated with Sheesha because I am a sheesh a smoker too. My main aim is to make you realize how much time and money you waste in such an activity. Imagine how many books you would have finished reading if you had read instead of wasting time in a lounge. Imagine how many community service projects you could have implemented if you had actually used that time to plan a project to help the unfortunate members of our society. Moreover, think about the money you would have saved. In short, all the Sheesha smokers are idiots. Sorry to pop the bubble but you have been a useless citizen of Pakistan and you need to wake up for an actual revolution. Just by sitting and talking about the deteriorating conditions of Pakistan while making smoke-circles will only make things worse. Furthermore, just by attending a single Jalsa will also do you no good. I have noticed how attending Jalsas and smoking Sheesa has become more of a fashion statement in Pakistan. Please grow up Pakistanis. Stop destroying yourself.

(PS: I still smoke Sheesha. But at the same time, I give charity as well to balance the whole scenario)

My Dear Daddy, please come back to your Shehroz...

Dear Daddy,


I miss you Daddy. I wish I could do something to bring you back! People say you would be happier now since you are at a better place. But what about me? My best place was with you; beside you. Will you hold my hand again and take me around the house? Or teach me how to tie a double knot? Or discuss politics and world issues with me? Or entertain me with your extraordinary life stories? 


You may be happy, but what about me? How could you just leave me like that? My dear Daddy, WHO will kiss me goodnight now? WHO will protect me from the wicked world outside? Oh my dear Daddy, I am incomplete now. I need you now. Daddy, you did everything I asked you to; now I am asking you to come back! Please come back Daddy. Will you not fulfill this wish of mine? Will you turn me down now? Will you just stand up there watch my tears wet my shirt and my pillow? Will you not hug me and console me that you are right here with me? I love you Daddy. You were my mentor. You were my teacher. You were my backbone. Now you have crossed into the other world leaving me exposed and vulnerable. My backbone is broken now. I am shattered into a thousand pieces. Just call my name once more and I will recollect myself. Just hug me once and I will be whole again. Just kiss my cheek and I will be complete once more...


I cannot believe that you are gone. It is impossible to imagine a life without you. Every hour I look towards your room and expect you to walk out in your crisp shalwar kameez and adorn the air with the sweet aroma of Aramis cologne. I expect to hear your heavy voice calling out "Shehroz Shehroz, Let's go out and get some fruits!" Daddy, who will buy me apples and oranges and melons and watermelons and mangoes? Who will give me company on the lunch table to finish off a whole melon? I just cannot believe you are gone! Even though I washed your lifeless body myself and buried you with my own hands, I cannot believe that you are gone! I refuse to believe that. Please prove everyone wrong and come back! I beg you Daddy. This is all just a dream, please call my name and wake me from this painful nightmare. Daddy I am DYING without you. Your absence is slowly killing me...


Although you were my grandfather in relation, but you were more than a father to me. Our relation exceeded beyond the realm of language! How could you just leave me? You brought me up and taught me everything. You adopted me from your own daughter and loved me more than anyone. You believed in me when the world criticized me. You motivated me when I had given up. You made me who I am today! I want to see you once more, to touch you once more and to tell you once more that I love you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. Please take me with you. I don't want this world. I want YOU.


Words cannot describe our relation nor can words describe the emptiness I feel without you.


With love,

Your favorite,

Shehroz.

What Matters??

A question has started evolving and mutating inside my skull. It has formed wings and is buzzing around my head like an angry bee caged in a small jar. The question: what matters?

In this life full of beauty and charm and corruption and death, what is it that truly matters? Is it the big house or the sexy car? Is it the girlfriend who dumped you or the family that supports you? Is it the friends who would die for you or the friends who would back bite? Is it the good grades you need or the hot girls you want? The list is long and never ending. We want so many things but what is it we actually need? What truly matters? I wanted everything I just mentioned. I wanted money, fame, respect, girls, comfort and power. But now I want what I actually need and what actually matters. I already had money, fame, respect, girls and power. I had everything I wanted or at least a bit of everything. Now, after everything was taken away from me, I realized these things are temporary. They are like that spring breeze which caress your hair and slide over you skin giving you feelings of euphoria but eventually thrusts you into the burning heat of the summers. Everything must end one day; "life" being the certain of all.

The question remains: what matters? I may have an idea, but my quest has just begun. I may end up more lost than before or I may end up disappearing off the face of the Earth but my quest will only reach it's destination when I have found a satisfactory answer. Is it God? Or is it spiritual comfort? If it's either of these, then how can I find them? Is it love for humanity or is it the life Hereafter? If it's either of these, then how should I act about?

What matters?

No Comments

Learn to say "No comments." I swear it is the best phrase in the whole realm of English language. From awkward situations to sensitive remarks, it will save you and help you avoid the muddy pond of all that is bad. 

No Comments FTW.

Heaven's Garden

From behind the glazed glass, I could see heaven.

It all started with a breeze: a light caressing breeze that tickled all the plants and trees in the garden outside the window. Slowly and gradually the breeze turned into a chilly wind and enveloped everything green in the garden. The branches shivered and the leaves fluttered like green butterflies. The garden reflected all hues of green and gold and projected the shim shim shim sound of the dancing plants and waving grass.

Then nature added another sound to it's music. The tip tip tip of the rain and then the drum of a thunder. The drops slowly slid down the leaves as if whispering a quick message from the sky to the leaves. The colds parted a little to let some sunlight through which turned every wet green leaf into a golden flake.

Beauty was at it's zenith! Heaven had descended upon Earth. I was home.

My Familia

My family feeds me strength. And courage. And hope. And knowledge. And happiness. And all the good things in life.

No matter how down I am and no matter how high I am, my family will always stand behind me and whisper in my ear: Shehroz, this too shall pass.

After my trust was broken by someone extremely close, I know I will never be able to trust ANYONE except my own family.

Give...

Kahlil Gibran showed me a new world through his work The Prophet.

"You often say, 'I would give, but only to the deserving.'
The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.
They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish."
(Kahlil Gibran)


When you eat, remember that you do not rightfully own the fruit nor it's nutrients. All that belongs to nature and nature has generously lent it to you so that you could use those nutrients to give back to humanity and nature. You have but only borrowed that fruit's essence; it is now YOUR responsibility to fairly use it to return that essence back to the nature.

Be grateful that nature chose you as it's vessel when you eat that piece of bread, and then ponder over why you have been chosen: Why must You live and a child in a village die? The piece of bread could have become food for any of the infinite beings on this planet, but why out of all the creatures you have been nominated?

The answers to such questions are plain and simple. We MUST either give back or give forth to carry on the legacy. Eat and then give freely. Do not be selective and do not say: I will only give to the poor or the old. Have you ever heard that a tree did not give you it's fruit because of your age, caste or religion?
If nature is not differentiating between a Hindi and a Muslim or a Black and a White, then why must we act god and decide on our own? We are not gods and we must do what nature expects us to do. Nature wants us to be like nature. Nature wants us to give and let give, live and let live. 

We. Are. Slaves.

Long ago, Quaid-Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah dreamt of a Pakistan where the Muslims would be free. Muslims of the Subcontinent were slaves of a foreign power; they were slaves of an alien law and they were slaves of a different religion. These Muslims were discriminated, oppressed and persecuted. Quaid-e-Azam wanted a free Pakistan for free Muslims. It will not be wrong to say that today’s Pakistan is exactly the opposite of the vision of our founding father, who dreamed of a liberal, progressive Islamic state based on the principles of justice. 

The question we should all ask ourselves is: where do we stand now? Is this the Pakistan our great leader wanted? ARE WE FREE? Unfortunately, the answer is NO. We are still slaves; slaves of of foreign TV channels, slaves of western culture and clothing, slaves of a so-called "modern" lifestyle, slaves of our own selfishness. Now the world has become a global village and we are still  discriminated, oppressed and persecuted on a global scale. Even now innocent people are dying just like during the days of Independence. There were extremists then and there are extremists now. The streets were red with blood then and the streets are painted with blood every day even now. Are we really free?Our soldiers die every day and instead of supporting them we criticize and insult them. People are falling deep into the pit of poverty and misery while WE sit and enjoy our luxurious lives. All these table-talks and long evening walks won't help us at all! 

Our Quaid weaved Pakistan with the threads of Unity, Faith and Discipline. He visioned us all following these three 'extremely important' principles. Are we following them? We are not at all United. The provinces are divided and fighting amonst themselves. More provinces are being demanded further dividing Pakistan like pieces of a puzzle. Navy, Army and Airforce have issues with each other while our government departments are not at all cooperating with each other. We have lost faith in our country, in our potential, in our resources and in our selves. Many of us are even losing faith in our perfect religion. We can reign over the world if we believe in ourselves and in the soil of this beautiful country. We can rise and become the best if we just have some faith in our color GREEN. Discipline is only taught in primary schools and we easily forget all about it when we enter the practical Pakistani life. Starting from something as small as throwing garbage on the ground to something as big as not following the constitution, we are quite indisciplined. Constitution is our code of discipline but the legislation, judiciary, army, media and masses play around with it like some cheap china-made toy. 

Dear countrymen, there is still hope if we wake up now. Before our Independence Muhammad Ali Jinnah saw a people full of deep, hidden potential. He saw them tarnished with struggle and pain yet they were still headstrong and ambitious. He saw their zeal, zest and hunger for freedom and success. And then he crafted Pakistan for them. Dear countrymen, the blood of those strong people still run in our veins. It is because of this blood we have still survived and InshAllah we will win our Freedom--AGAIN. 

.

A Random Realization...

In my race to success, I did not realize that I had become very selfish. Thank God it isn't too late. 2012 will definitely be a personality changing year. 

Thoughts of a Sun

The mighty God, with a thought, made me proud and bright;
I was, in the whole universe, a vibrant, a magnificent sight.
Every thing in the skies, with eyes weak, lowered their gaze;
My radiance was bold and wild, with beauty I was all ablaze.

With clay, then my Lord, fashioned mankind so small and weak;
The Angels cried, this  man flawed, on Earth will havoc wreak.
The whole creation had to bow down to this being so imperfect;
My God said, "don't be a Satan and your warmth do not reject!"

For the love of my Creator, I  bowed down to a being unworthy;
For this mankind so imperfect, even I had to dim my envied glory,
For it was God's command to help this ungrateful bag of flesh
Without prejudice and  pride I must provide daylight and food fresh.

Oh mankind mortal, what is wrong and why don't you understand,
You were just born and today you wrought destruction so grand.
You kill and let kill; you sleep and let die; you laugh and let cry.
I ask you oh flesh, are you so flawed and insensate? I ask, "Why?"

I am the mighty Sun, without which you are nothing and no one;
Even after your atrocities, I am to provide; God's will be done.
If I had free will and power, I would have turned you all to dust.
Because you are a shame and you let the given Principles rust.

A Letter to "Pakistanis"

Dear Pakistanis,

How are you? I hope you are doing great in your homes in front of your television sets. I have often heard you all criticizing the status quo of Pakistan and it's "citizens." Yes, the word "citizen" is put in quotation marks because I am being sarcastic-very sarcastic. Are you really a Pakistani citizen? For me you are nothing but citizens of your own homes and comfortable lives. As for your criticism, to me its nothing more than an immobile child crying for milk; all the baby can do is just scream and cry. Have you ever thought about getting out of your own cocoon? 

How are your schools, colleges and offices going? I am sure you must be enjoying high quality education. Or lunch breaks. And parties. And good food. Not to mention the comfortable rides you get to your destination in your own warm cars and jeeps. Or even taxis.

I am doing okay here. I ride the bus every morning with my hands numb and my feet stiff. Its very cold you know. But I do not know where am I going. Sometimes I go to the roof-less school and sometimes I just go to the market for work. It just depends how much food we need at my home. Oh don't worry about me, I am surviving. Or maybe you never worried about me since you are already busy in your own close-to-perfect lives. You don't care if I survive or not. You just care that you are popular in your city or your neighborhood.

Dear countrymen, the problem with you all is that you enjoy your lives and get good education. You squeeze from Pakistan but you never give back. A few remarks about politicians here and a small donation there is utterly useless. A few small school community service projects and visits to orphanages is nothing but a mockery towards Pakistan and those orphans. We don't need a one-day sympathy visit or week long lessons on English. All we need is that you be a citizen of Pakistan and fulfill your own responsibilities. Have you ever thought how much tax your father gives? Have you ever considered what impact an extra light bulb in your room would have on the poor neighborhood outside your city? Have you ever thought how much money you spend in a single visit to Hardees or a Halloween party? I run my whole house with that amount of money. Sometimes with even half of it.

I have been hearing the word "revolution" and "change" a lot these days. Some new politician gives you hope and you go crazy after him. I don't care. For me they are all the same. For me YOU are all the same. Useless. Selfish. Ignorant. Idiots. Just talking about revolution and visiting a single 'jalsa' is not going to bring any sort of change. YOU have to change YOUR OWN SELF before a change in Pakistan. Otherwise, this so-called change will be short-lived just like it was temporary in the history of Pakistan. You have to realize that to truly help Pakistan you must gaze inside your own flesh and see the mountain of flaws that lie in there. Putting pictures of a politician on your Facebook or talking about politics on your Status is nothing but an example of your personal laziness and incompetency. 

I wish I could love you all but I hate you all for being so apathetic. I love Pakistan but I despise the people in it. Hear me and save your self. Pakistan right now is no different than the Age of Ignorance of pre-Islamic Arab. You are going down the path of destruction but I know you have enough money and resources to simply move to another country whereas I will die on these streets for YOUR mistakes, arrogance and ignorance. But remember, one day may come when your blood will be shed in other countries. You are a Pakistani and Pakistan should be your final burial ground. Don't run away. A Pakistani can never be a coward.

With love,
A poor citizen of Pakistan,
Waiting for you,
To do what you have to do.

Fall of 2011...

Where was I exactly a year ago?
High above in the sky...
Where am I right now?
Deep below in the pit of despair...


The year 2011 proved to be the worst year of my life. This year gave me a lot but also took away all that it gave me. This year I fell in love. This year I was given fame and influence. This year gave me happiness. But this same year snatched it all away and I spent my new year alone with no one to call or text. I love my family who is my only support now. Yes, this new year only a handful of people wished me unlike last year when every single person in my contact list called or texted me or invited me to parties. Dear 2011, why were you so mean to me? Oh dear 2011, why did you give me everything just to take it all away? My dear 2011, WHY ME? 

I was all set to start my adventure into the unknown world of practical life in an alien land; I never knew I would never make it. I was all set to turn my love into a long lasting affair; I never knew I would be thrown away in the trash. I was all set to embark on my own pilgrimage to explore the world; I never knew my legs would be cut off right before my journey. 2011, I will never forgive you for all that. Why did you raise me up to the sky and then thrown me back? Did you take me all the way up just to make the fall more painful? 

But something whispered in my ear. The year 2011 bowed down on it's feet and explained WHY it had done all that. Dear Shehroz, it said, I did all that to teach you. Only to teach you. Dear Shehroz, it won't be long before I am gone but the time ahead will never be easy. The time ahead will treat you harshly and throw you around but what you learnt in 2011 will save you. It will save you from the pain and frustration up ahead. I saved you from your own destruction by destroying you and re-making you. I am sorry Shehroz but somethings are better taught the hard way. Forgive me but DO NOT FORGET ME.

Now, I turn to 2012 with optimism and hope. I pray it lifts me back up in the sky and restores me to my former glory. The fall in 2011 will be a life-lesson for my whole future. What I learnt in that year shaped a stronger and better Shehroz. I am no more vulnerable and I am no more weak. Thank you 2011 but I am glad you are gone. Dear 2012, HERE I COME...

The Crumbling Empire...

A man who once commanded a whole ship with a crew in hundreds, now lay all alone on a hospital bed. The man who was proud and independent, now had to depend on others to help him sit up. A man with a mountain of knowledge, now didn't even know that he had been spending nights in a hospital. A man with the farsightedness of a telescope, now had an eye that didn't function at all. Life can be very unfair at times. Daddy is alive but his essence has declined. He is weak and he is not the same anymore. 

Every Mighty Empire has experienced a downfall. For many, the crumbling away of an empire is nothing short of a story that moistens their eyes. But daddy's final decline made me sob and scream. I had to cry all alone. I had to hide and cage my emotions while everyone is busy taking care of daddy. I had to help them too, but my hands and feet are paralyzed. I refuse to believe that he is just a mortal. I refuse to see him in this condition. I simply refuse. 
But I need to cry, I need to scream, I need to hit my head on a wall. I need daddy. I need him to get out of his bed and walk me around the house. I need him to do his magic again and squeeze out a whole bar of chocolate from my ears. I need him to sit with me on the lunch table and repeat all his stories and adventures. I need him to stand proud and hug me when I succeed in life. I need him to attend my future high achiever's ceremony. I need him to approve a girl for me after telling me all the stories about his girlfriends. I need him to sit with me and watch baywatch with me again.

But more than anything, I need him to live forever.

Even now as I write this, I get up to wipe my tears and daddy speaks in his half sleepy condition, "Shehroz, Sardi toh nahi lag rahi?"

(Shehroz, are you cold?)

Areesha be the awesomest...

Areesha of Me, Myself and I wrote this for my new blog:

"Most of you might know Oz from Oz and Life... but I bet you guys haven't been following his new blog: I am Grateful for.... How do I know that? Simple, HE HAD TWO FOLLOWERS! People, follow his blog! Bas end of story, no questions asked! 

Oz, I'm surrounded by people who're depressed all the time, and yes I'm included in that list. When I read your posts, I feel grateful. Thank you for making such an awesome blog. Yes, I am giving you all these awards because they're true."

And then she gave me the following 11 awards here:

In response to all this I have the following to say:

I have been blogging for quite some time now. And and and never been awarded like this. Thank You soooooo much Areesha for this. It actually encourages me to keep writing more and more because at one point when there were NO followers I decided to just stop posting :-p

But then people started trickling down into the blog. And I'm so glad to have come across your blog and get a peek into your life. I am honored :-) and you are AWESOME.

This is so awesome, and I have never been more pumped up about blogging than before. More stuff coming up. I apologize for this long inactivity.

And best of luck Areesha :-)