I miss you Daddy. I wish I could do something to bring you back! People say you would be happier now since you are at a better place. But what about me? My best place was with you; beside you. Will you hold my hand again and take me around the house? Or teach me how to tie a double knot? Or discuss politics and world issues with me? Or entertain me with your extraordinary life stories?
You may be happy, but what about me? How could you just leave me like that? My dear Daddy, WHO will kiss me goodnight now? WHO will protect me from the wicked world outside? Oh my dear Daddy, I am incomplete now. I need you now. Daddy, you did everything I asked you to; now I am asking you to come back! Please come back Daddy. Will you not fulfill this wish of mine? Will you turn me down now? Will you just stand up there watch my tears wet my shirt and my pillow? Will you not hug me and console me that you are right here with me? I love you Daddy. You were my mentor. You were my teacher. You were my backbone. Now you have crossed into the other world leaving me exposed and vulnerable. My backbone is broken now. I am shattered into a thousand pieces. Just call my name once more and I will recollect myself. Just hug me once and I will be whole again. Just kiss my cheek and I will be complete once more...
I cannot believe that you are gone. It is impossible to imagine a life without you. Every hour I look towards your room and expect you to walk out in your crisp shalwar kameez and adorn the air with the sweet aroma of Aramis cologne. I expect to hear your heavy voice calling out "Shehroz Shehroz, Let's go out and get some fruits!" Daddy, who will buy me apples and oranges and melons and watermelons and mangoes? Who will give me company on the lunch table to finish off a whole melon? I just cannot believe you are gone! Even though I washed your lifeless body myself and buried you with my own hands, I cannot believe that you are gone! I refuse to believe that. Please prove everyone wrong and come back! I beg you Daddy. This is all just a dream, please call my name and wake me from this painful nightmare. Daddy I am DYING without you. Your absence is slowly killing me...
Although you were my grandfather in relation, but you were more than a father to me. Our relation exceeded beyond the realm of language! How could you just leave me? You brought me up and taught me everything. You adopted me from your own daughter and loved me more than anyone. You believed in me when the world criticized me. You motivated me when I had given up. You made me who I am today! I want to see you once more, to touch you once more and to tell you once more that I love you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. Please take me with you. I don't want this world. I want YOU.
Words cannot describe our relation nor can words describe the emptiness I feel without you.
Monday, April 9, 2012