Thursday, May 14, 2009


Human nature is a great mystery. God has created emotions in such a complex and mysterious way that no one can understand how they work. I came to America and my first thoughts were OZZY THESE PEOPLE KNOW THAT THEY WILL NOT SEE YOU AGAIN AFTER A YEAR, AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN, SO DO NOT GIVE OR EXPECT LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP, DO NOT GIVE OR EXPECT BONDS FROM THEM!

Things have changed. I have attached myself to so many people who I am sure I will never see again. Even if they do promise to come to Pakistan, I do not know if I will be alive to welcome them. Who knows God's strange way of working! I have made friends, fallen in love and had fun and now it is all going to become just a memory. Everything will become just a memory or an internet discussion. I am called a pessimist for thinking like that, but actually I am just being realistic. I have bonded with people here and I have bonded with people from other countries even though I knew and they knew that we would never see each other again. Human nature. Wierd, isn't it? I never expected this. But now I have to survive the pain of letting it all go. I have to endure completely leaving behind my this life and never seeing it again! How will I do that I do not know because I am usually fragile emotionally! I do not express emotions but I burn from inside.

Bye my friends. Good-bye and forget me not, for I will never forget you!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Pakistan Zindabad?

When Muhammad Ali Jinnah carved out Pakistan, he did not realize that the slogans of PAKISTAN ZINDABAD will one day fade out...It has already begun!

Pakistan created itself out of the dust of an insignificant imagination. It pierced through the impossible and became the possible. And now it is being pushed into the abyss of destruction, the hell of disaster and the fire of doom. Who is to blame? The government or the people? I would blame Muhammad Ali Jinnah for creating a land for these undeserving, useless people who are the fuel for all this trouble and chaos. People blame it on the religious laws or the government policies but seldom would they accept that the fault lies in them. Why not get up and shout against anything that one may feel is worng? Why just sit in front of a television and complain? WHINE WHINE WHINE, that is all we are capable of. Our civilization is old and unique, why have we failed to compete in the world? Are the ideas of Social Darwinism true that one race could be superior to another? If it is, then we have proved inferior to the world and our time is short. Why not rise together and show the world who we are? That will probably not work because you are all busy with your selfish lives in front of your televisions and radios.

I dream of Pakistan as a nation not following some other nation like a pet but a nation of power, might and authority. I feel so small, insignificant and useless to do anything about Pakisatn. I have to wait for now. But I am scared that Pakistan will not survive till I am capable enough to actually do somethng about it. It has reached its critical level when other countries' eyes pop out to take over! America has shown concern over our nuclear power and in near future may attack it with this excuse. Why cannot other countries have nuclear technology and America can? Probably because America wants to stay as the world power but why cannot everyone be equal?

Pakistan is sinking and with it my heart! All Pakistan needs is a Messiah!

Friends?? Where??

The most unfortunate son of Adam is one who does not have a loyal friend. I used to consider myself extremely fortunate! Being surrounded by a swarm of people who loved me like a bee loves his hive. I was always in the limelight, the warm center of attention.The question had always been WHAT WOULD SHEHROZ DO? and WHAT DID SHEHROZ DO? My friends would even give their life for me for they knew that I would give my life for them. But God always has a unique design for everyone. I was not spared!

Since I came here, I have found out how true my friends were to me all my life. They stabbed me right in the heart so many times that my heart is completely numb now. Who to trust? I am no longer what I was in my school in Pakistan. They all turned their faces away from me. ALL OF THEM! Now, I have to go back and I will again be surrounded by people but will I ever be able to trust anyone enough to befriend him/her? This has surely changed me enought to become cruel and rude. I was always nice to EVERYONE and never selfish but now SHEHROZ has changed. It will not be good for my social life but atleast my heart will be satisfied that I will never be betrayed. If I am bad enough then the friends I will make will not love me because of my position and status but because they would know me deep enough to see why I have become so rude and slefish.

And as for these hypocritical so-called friends, I will show them who I am and make them realize that they have lost my valuable friendship. I would have taken all of them in my boat but now there is only one boat and only one seat for me. I RIDE ALONE NOW!